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Ignorance Or Stupidity?

Posted on September 26th, 2008

We all know them.  Those men and women who walk around with just a little too much self-esteem.  I don’t mean they think they are perfect, no, I mean they think that since they are so “comfortable” with themselves, that it is alright for them to give you unsolicited opinions about your affairs no matter the cost.

Confused?  Let me give you an example, and then after I will give you the reason for the fury that I am feeling at the moment.  No, not fury, more like a rage that has no outlet except for the little space I am now typing in, as fast as my fingers will move and my brain will process.


Say you have a man who thinks that you are dating the wrong woman.  Not because of her appearance, but because of some little quirk that he finds distasteful and yet you seem to have lived with.  He tells you his opinion, or rather he tells you what you should do and then sighs and shakes his head when you tell him to go fuck himself.  Words like “You’ll thank me later”, “If only you knew what I did”, You’ll see”, and “Just you wait” are popular for this person to use in this situation.


I was on a cool new site I found yesterday, 12Seconds, when i happened to notice the avatar of a person i have had a passing friendship with for almost fifteen years.  You know, you are on the same sites, you may IM once in awhile, but you never really get to know the person?

I found his IM buried in my list and shot him a message and we began to talk about the site and what the potential uses for it were and all of that nonsense.  He must have glanced at my seemingly empty following list because that is when he decided that he just had to insert his foot into his mouth.

The conversation, paraphrased for time, follows:

Him:  So, I see you are still hanging out with Fat Chicks. (Note the capitalization here, it comes up later)

Me:  Excuse Me?

Him:  You know, those BBW chicks you are always being nice too.

Me:  You mean the women I am following here?

Him:  Yeah, the Fat Chicks (You noticed, how good)

Me (Mad): Is there something wrong with the people I associate with?

Him (Confused):  Of course not, everyone has to have a Charity. (Third and final important capitalization.)

Me (Let’s Just Say Mad+):  Charity?

Him (Ironically Upset At Me):  You know, you talk to them, make them feel like they are normal, part of the group you really hang with and all of that.  I do the same thing for stupid people, you know, retards and autistic kids, down syndrome people too.

….It is wise to note here that I have a son with autism like symptoms and a large developmental delay….

Me (So Mad I Am Punching The Wall Next To Me): So I have to be showing pity to a woman who is above what you call normal because you think that is the way it is?

Him (Realizing Errors Quickly):  No, I just meant that…

Me (Interrupting Him, The Above Is What He Evidently Hit Enter On): So your version of how a person should look and be is the version that all humanity must follow you self-centered Aryan¹ fuck-wad?  You think I care two shits about what you have to say about these women?  let me tell you a secret.  I know your wife, she is a wonderful woman, truly, but aren’t you ever concerned that she married you because you were, you know, kind of desperate?

Him (REALLY Pissed):  WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!1!…(Yes, the “1″ was in there”)

Me (Mission Accomplished, Deleting After Posting Message):  What?  Did I insult you by giving you a piece of information and an opinion you didn’t want?  How unfortunate.

Now, I know I could have hit harder, deeper and for longer.  But why?

I am friends with women who happen to be Big and Beautiful.  I am not friends with them because they are Big and Beautiful.  Like all other people, there are some bitches who happen to be Big and Beautiful.

Why am I friends with so many BBW’s you may ask, and for that you get a nod.  it is indeed a fair question.

How do you make friends?  You hang out with, talk to, people who you are drawn to.  The fact that the women I am drawn to are BBW’s means nothing, it means that they are funny, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, charming and charismatic  You know, like me.  *grin*

So the next time I hear anyone say anything about being friends with a BBW out of pity, i will dig up every fucking skeleton you have and make sure the entire world knows about it.  Not because I am cruel, but because there are things in the dark we don’t want anyone to know.

Shallow and self-defeating?  Probably.  But the smile I got this morning from one gorgeous woman.  A woman who makes my life complete in every way when i told her about all of this, makes it all worth while.

Love you Naomi.

¹ Me calling him an Aryan wasn’t off the mark.  I wanted to point this out because I don’t throw slurs like that.

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2 Responses to “Ignorance Or Stupidity?”

  1. Bryan Says:
    October 5th, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    Good for you standing up to that guy. It pisses me off when I see people putting down big women. I’m married to a big woman, and I didn’t get together with her because I felt sorry for her. I fell in love with her for who she is, regardless of what she looked like. I get sick of really shallow insensitive people who think that because someone likes to hang out with bigger people, both men and woman, that it’s a charity case. I’m a big man myself. Personally I have found bigger women more fun to be around, they have a great sense of humor, and are very loving people, because I looked past what’s on the outside to get to know them as a person.

    So again, I say good for you.

  2. Kaobear Says:
    October 5th, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    @Bryan -
    I wholeheartedly agree with you there my friend.

    Stay tuned, there is a podcast dedicated to the lovely ladies coming up starting tomorrow.

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