Posted on September 20th, 2008
Chivalry that is.
I need to know, I have been trying and trying and no matter what I do it seems that the long beloved tradition is no more important in this day and age as is a CD you can no longer write to.
It isn’t as if people don’t want doors held open, roses given to them and sweet poems written for them. Far from it, they want and appreciate those things now more than ever. However, the people I am referring to that want these things feel that it is almost an extension of the relationship parameters. Expected things to make them happy.
Since when was sitting and slaving, and screw you if you laugh, over a poem for three hours something that I had to do in order to prove my worth and love for a person? When did it start to be ok to yell at me if I didn’t bring you roses every time I left and then came back?
My mother, bless her, was a woman who taught me things that i will never forget. She taught me that you always, under all circumstances, treat a woman with the respect and dignity that she deserves. I of course asked , my eyes bright with attention, how one knows how much respect a woman deserves. My mother laughed and patted me on the head and simply told me to give what I get.
My father, bless him if you will, was a man from a different book. A woman was the giver of life, the nurturer of children and the lover to whom you cling to when you need compassion. You treat her like a Goddess he said to me.
My entire life I have done both these things. I have treated women like the Goddesses they are and have shown them every ounce of respect that they have shown me, and often a great deal more.
Now, as my life starts to move into it’s, I don’t know, refined years if you will, I find myself looking back at this line of thought and questioning it.
I married the same woman three times as a teenager because my heart sang when she was near me. I gave up everything for her and went down paths I will not speak of in the light of the morning sun just to make her happy. What did I get out of this?
A divorce the first time. The second time she ran over me with our Buick and the third time she put a knife blade into my shoulder so deep the tip is still in there somewhere.
All for love.
Naomi, my sweet and wonderful wife understands all of this and when i write to her, give to her and do for her, she appreciates it in a way i was always taught was the way you should appreciate things like that.
Am I old fashioned?
Should it be mandatory for these things to be done or is it still ok to be spontaneous?